Funnies :)

DOG NAMES
Laying in bed one night, Mason was telling me a story...  It started out beautifully with "Once upon a time"...   Then took a drastic change with him talking about vampires and coyotes...  (his stories are definitely entertaining, but rarely make sense)
Mason:  "Suddenly the mean coyotes turned into nice dogs.. two dogs!   They were my dogs.  Do you like my dogs mom? they are pretty"

Mom:   "What are your dogs names Mason?"

Mason:   "Hmmmmmmm.......   I think I will name them Twizzle and Syllable" 


EASTER BASKET
Mason was pulling out all of his candy and was super excited.  Then he found his PeePs!!!

Mason: Oh my goodness....   look I got Poops!!

OLD MAN
Mason and I went to the Dollar General the other day..  One of our favorite stores in town (and it's not because it's only one of three :) and as we pull into a parking spot  I hear...
Mason:  What happened to him? 
Mom:  What happened to who?   and just as I finish that sentence I look inside the vehicle next to us and notice a not so well kept man with a full beard and about one tooth.   But before and I can stop Mason, he is out of the car and standing next to his truck waiting for his door to open...   and just as it did....
Mason:  What happened to you?
Guy:  OH... I don't know
Mason:  Why you got whiskers?
Guy:  I just do
At this point I am trying to grab Mason's hand and hurry into the store so he will stop asking questions.
Mason:  YOU'RE OLD (Yelling as I'm dragging him)
Guy:  You're right I am.
Mason:  You're old like a grandpa.  You're really really old
Mom whispering:  shut up mason...  shut up
Mason:  We don't say shut up Mom
Now I just look stupid.... We are to the store doors now, but Mason is refusing to be drug any further...  He wants to talk with this man!!!!!
Mason:  What's in your mouth?   (Remember he is only sportin one tooth)
Mom whispering...  c'mon mason.....  let's go get a balloon, would you like some candy?, or a new car?  (please kid, stop while we are still alive!!  Can't you see that this man may kill us?)
Guy:  Well, there's not a whole lot in my mouth.
Mason:  Blllleeeeeeekkkkkkkk........... ewwwww that's gross!!!!
At this point, I grab some snot filled tissues from my purse and ever soooooooooo gently shove them into his mouth.....   I wouldn't want him to say anything that might embarrass me :)